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11.16.2019

A day that I will never forget. In previous post, I have talked about my aunt. Well, she went to heaven and took a fraction of my heart with her.

The day that she passed away, I have went to a NAACP ACT-SO interest meeting. I decided to make the commitment and participate. On the way home, my mom and I brainstormed different medical topics that I could research that affects the African American community. I decided on Heart Disease. I was excited. I called my Aunt to share my excitement and she didn’t answer my call. She always answers for me if no one else. That night, my mom hadn’t heard from her. She became worried and we decided to drive over to make sure that my aunt was ok. She wasn’t. We found her deceased on her bathroom floor. Her heart gave out on her. I tried my hardest for almost 30 minutes trying to revive her. Nothing worked. Nothing at that moment mattered. A fraction of my heart was gone to heaven.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. Her smile. Her smell. Her cooking and baking. Her shoes. Her hair. Her lipstick. Her. Everything about her. I miss.

I hurt. I’m sad. I’m angry. I want her. I want to talk to her and for her to listen. I’m wishing she was here to offer some advice. For her to give me a hug. For her to laugh at my awful jokes.

She made my life easier. She understood me. Her love for astronomy matched mine. She was perfect. She was seriously the best aunt in the world. She was my only Aunt and my heart breaks over and over because she’s gone.

Aunty Nikki,

I love you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t bring you back that night. I hope you know that I tried hard. I tried really hard.

Thank you for loving me. Thanks for all of our chats and long conversations. Thank you for believing in me and in ZincGirlz. You were one of my biggest cheerleaders and I’m begging you to keep cheering from up above. Watch me make you proud.

Aunty, mommy and nanna are hurting. For a really long time, it was just the four of us. They’re really hurting aunty. It hurts me watching them cry. Can you please do me just one last big favor? Please just ask God to help them not be so sad.

It’s ok to rest now Aunty. We are sad down here but we will be alright. You were always so worried about everyone else and I know that you will struggle resting if we’re all too sad down here.

We love you and miss. Rest in heaven, Aunty.

Love Always and Forever,
Azaria

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